just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
