i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
