4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
