Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
