hotel room ftw
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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