I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
