What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize