Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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