Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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