It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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