I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
