She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
