Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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