I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
