if i can run in heels then i can drive
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
