what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
