He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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