He is like the real live version of the state fair..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
