i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
