OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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