I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
