I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
