i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
