Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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