so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
