Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize