there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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