You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
