You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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