its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
