Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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