My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
