i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
