Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
