Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
