you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize