Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
