So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
