this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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