I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
