I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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