Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
