Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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