someone threw a dead crab at me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
