I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
