Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
