I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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