Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
