Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
