Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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