i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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