it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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