Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
