he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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