When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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