He asked to "fluff my boner.."
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
