she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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