I wish i was in the wii world.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
