dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
