Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
