talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
