White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
