You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
