Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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