He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
